


Nothing In My Stocking

by BettyHT



Series: No Nothing Not [2]
Category: Bonanza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 16:37:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16391303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BettyHT/pseuds/BettyHT
Summary: 2nd in the No/Nothing/Not series.  As Christmas nears, Joe remembers the tragedy in his life, and he's not the only one having nightmares almost every night. There are other problems and near tragedy. When Christmas arrives, Joe and the rest of his family have to find a way to be thankful for what they have and accept what they have lost.





	Nothing In My Stocking

Nothing in My Stocking

Chapter 1

Bleeding and suffering from broken legs, Adam lay in snow that was choking him. He tried to claw his way out, but there was no relief. He wasn't even sure which way was up. He felt as if gravity was telling him, but with the pain, cold, and shock, he wasn't at all sure he could trust his senses. He tried to yell but had no breath to do it. He had to move and couldn't. He had never felt so frustrated in all his life and so alone. Tears slid down his cheeks as he realized he would never hold the baby that was due to arrive soon. "I'm so sorry, Zona. Goodbye, sweetheart." He could think of nothing more as the cold stole his thoughts and then his heartbeat.

"Wake up, Zona, wake up, sweetheart. You're having a bad dream." Adam had his arms wrapped around his wife and was whispering softly in her ear trying to calm her thrashing and trying to wake her as gently as he could. Gradually she calmed in his arms and her breathing slowed. He knew she was awake and trying to reclaim her sense of reality. "It's all right. I'm right here." Adam began caressing the swollen belly that held their child. He could feel the kicks and knew that the commotion has awakened the little one in the womb. "Now, you've got her all upset again."

"It could be a boy."

"I know. Some days I think of her as a cute little girl toddling after her mother, and other days I think of a handsome lad sitting in the saddle as his father rides over the land."

"Why can't it be a handsome little boy toddling after his mother or a cute little girl sitting on her father's lap as he rides across the land?"

"It could. Now, was that the same dream you've been having for the last week?"

"Yes, you're trapped in the snow, and you can't get out. I can't find you. You leave us all alone, and I'm so frightened to lose you so soon."

"Now other than going out to cut greens and a tree tomorrow, I won't be away from the house. Nothing that's as bad as an avalanche can catch me here. I'll be safe and here to take care of you and the little one."

"Adam, when I came with you to America, you knew that was my greatest fear: to be left alone. You said I would never be alone as long as I was with your family. But I would be. I would be so alone without you."

"You'll have our little one." Realizing what he had said, Adam quickly amended that statement. "And I'll be here to love and cherish both of you." Continuing to rub Zona's stomach, Adam developed other thoughts. "Do you suppose I could love and cherish you a bit right now?"

"Adam, the doctor said if we did, it could cause me to start."

"Yes, but sweetheart, that was a month ago, and you're feeling better now, aren't you? You haven't complained of any cramping, and you saw Paul last week, and he said everything was normal. The baby is due to arrive very soon anyway, so it wouldn't hurt anything now, would it?"

"Hmm, are you always thinking?"

"Ahh, yes, I am." They both chuckled and then made love gently and as passionately as being careful allowed them. They fell asleep as they had every night they were together since they were married snuggled in each other's embrace.

In his bedroom, Joe was having a nightmare too, and it was the one he had almost every night. It was the nightmare that the whole family had lived, but Joe had been the one to suffer the most. Each night as he awakened, he remembered that night he was up with Sheena and their daughter whom he was trying to soothe but who refused to be soothed. He knew his nightmare was also his reality. In his mind, he held the memory of that night a few months earlier when he had discovered that both his wife and his daughter were ill as if it was the previous day he was remembering and not the night months earlier that was the beginning of his tragedy. It was a night that both he and Sheena had been getting very frustrated, and Sheena was getting weak from the lack of rest and the low fever that she had. Eleanor was fussy and cried most of the time. All were sleep deprived and getting irritable. He could remember everything that happened that night as much as the rest of the family remembered that and the rest of that terrible week.

"Eleanor was never like this before. She's got a dry gown, two of us to rock her, and she's not hungry. Why is she crying?"

"Joe, I don't know. I feel like crying myself. I'm tired and hot. She's hot too. Maybe it's too hot in here. I'm even getting a heat rash on my stomach."

As those statements penetrated Joe's frustration and exhaustion, he was suddenly very worried. "Eleanor has a rash too. But, Sheena, it isn't hot in here. In fact, it's a bit cool because you said you wanted it that way to sleep better. Eleanor is very hot too."

"Joe, you're scaring me. What do you think it is?"

"I don't know. I'll get some cool water and cloths. Maybe if we can cool her down, she'll be able to sleep. Then maybe I can do the same for you, and then we can all sleep."

What Joe didn't want to admit was that he was scared too. He wondered what it was, but he knew that his wife and daughter had contracted some disease. He knew it in his heart and his mind. He planned to wait a few hours and then wake his father to ask for help. When he went into the kitchen, Hop Sing was there.

"Little girl have sick inside?"

"Hop Sing, remember when Hoss and I were sick when Adam was away at college. Pa said we had the measles, and you helped him take care of us. Sheena and Eleanor have a rash on their stomachs. I remember the rash, but what else would be a sign you had it?"

"It very bad if Missy Sheena have it. Very bad to have when not a child. Little ones sometime get very sick too. Very hot. No like to eat. Pain in head. That what I remember."

"Yes, I think they both have a fever. They're very hot."

Hop Sing began gathering cloths. He handed two bowls to Joe and asked him to fill them with water. He took one for himself and grabbed a stack of cloth towels. Once they were in the bedroom, Joe knew he had to tell Sheena what he feared. She didn't take it well. She was already handicapped using a wheelchair and crutches to get around. She had heard stories about measles blinding people and sometimes making them crazy.

"Joe, I can't face this. It's too much."

"Sweetheart, people who have those things happen to them didn't have proper care. I'll take care of you and the family will help. Well, everyone except Adam."

"Why not Adam? Is he too good to help out?"

"No, he never had them. It went through here when he was away at college, and Pa and Hop Sing had them when they were children. I guess Adam will have to move out along with anyone else who hasn't had them."

"Oh, Joe, what about Eleanor?" Sheena was suddenly scared for her older daughter.

"She may have them, but kids usually do all right. She'll be a little sick for a week or so, and then she'll be fine."

"So Eleanor will be all right?"

"I guess so. I don't remember very well. I was probably eight or nine. I'll talk to Pa and Hop Sing. Now, Hop Sing is bathing Eleanor, and if you'll lay back, I'll do the same for you."

"Could you move the dressing screen over here to give me some privacy." Joe complied not wanting to tell her she wasn't likely to be able to guard that privacy once the disease hit full force. He was scared too, and got his mind off of that by cooling Sheena with cool cloths. He could hear Eleanor fussing but it seemed to be less than before. When Sheena closed her eyes after about an hour, Joe went to talk to his father.

It didn't take long for Ben to wake Hoss and Bess to find out if Bess had ever had measles. She had not and she was carrying a baby so Ben knew that to be safe, she should move out with

Adam and Zona. They could use the old cabin or Joe's cottage or even the line cabin to the southeast. Ben turned to go talk with Adam and Zona.

"Why does Bess have to move out? Why can't she stay in the bedroom?" Even as he said it, Hoss knew the answer. His unborn child was very vulnerable too, and they had to play it as safe as they could. "Pa, I always heard it's best if you have them as a child. I know I was hardly even sick. I was kinda upset that you and Hop Sing made me stay in bed with the curtains closed for a few days."

"Yes, children usually weather the measles fairly well. I remember the last time it came through here. A number of women lost their babies or gave birth to still born babies later. Now we could use your help here, but if you feel you have to be with your wife in her condition, we'll understand."

"No, I know I have to help. I'll help Bess get packed up and I'll help Zona and Adam get to wherever they're gonna be. Has anyone checked with the hands to see if anyone is sick?"

"No, I'll do that after I talk with Adam. I'm afraid we won't have enough places for everyone who's sick if it's hit the hands. I'll find out who's already had them. The others might have to pitch a tent or use the barn if they're not sick. Measles spreads like wildfire."

"That bad?"

"Yes, that's why we have to get Adam, Zona, and Bess out of the house as quickly as we can. We can pray they haven't gotten it yet."

While Hoss had been talking, Bess had waited quietly. As soon as Ben closed their door, she told Hoss what she needed packed. "You don't want me to go with you then?"

"Hoss, I do, but they're going to need you around here. I'll miss you so much, but we have to take the best care of our little one that we can, and Zona is going to need to do the same too. She's just as far along as I am. It's probably a good thing that she's had those leg pains and has been in bed most of the last week. Adam spent most of the last week with her when he wasn't working. The two of us were busy too getting ready to move into our new house. Like Papa said, hopefully none of you have gotten it."

By the time that Hoss had Adam, Zona, and Bess in the sleigh, Ben called to them to say that there were hands showing symptoms. They knew then that there was no point in going for the doctor. The only place anyone had been for a couple of weeks had been Virginia City. It had to be the source. Hoss drove the buckboard with supplies while Adam drove the sleigh to the southeast line shack. They would be short on bed space, but the building was more sound than the others, and they didn't have time to do any kind of repairs. Adam would be busy enough taking care of chores and getting firewood. He had to pray too that Zona and Bess would stay healthy and he prayed he didn't come down with anything. They had everything they needed, but he was scared that something might go wrong with no one to help them. Once all the supplies were unpacked and the horses that had pulled the sleigh were in the small lean-to which would be their only shelter, Hoss had to say goodbye to Bess.

"Now, I'll come by every day that I can, and I'll call out to you and wave. We can talk across the yard but no closer. Once I start helping with the sick ones, I can't take a chance on getting too close to you. Now remember to use the signal if anything goes wrong, and we'll send help. There are a couple of hands who haven't had them and they're heading to the loft and the tack room. If they don't get sick, they can help out here. We should know in a couple of days if they're gonna get sick or not."

"I love you, big man. You take care and don't wear yourself out. We'll be fine here. Send up a few prayers for us though. I know Adam and Zona are scared. I am too."

"Me too, darling. Me too."

Chapter 2

For the rest of the family, that week when the measles epidemic began was frightening too. Zona and Bess were very frightened for their babies who were only a couple of months away from their arrival on the Ponderosa. Their husbands were equally as worried but had to remain strong.

"Adam, I'm so scared. What if something happens to our baby? What if you get sick?"

"Sweetheart, we have everything we need right here. It is frightening but we can handle this. You're going to rest in the bed here, and I'll massage your legs just like I did at home. We can read or talk or play a few games when you're not sleeping." Adam was not at all as confident as he felt talking with Zona. He hoped and prayed that the baby would be all right. Bess was just as worried but like Adam preferred to assume that none of them would get sick. As soon as the ladies were settled in, Adam knew he would have to go chop more firewood. Every line cabin was stocked but not for winter weather and not for more than a few days. He had a lot on his mind knowing that his brother faced the very real possibility of losing his wife and child. He would pray for them and for Eleanor and the hands who might contract the disease as well. There was one small bed in the line cabin but they had brought a mattress so that Bess would be comfortable. He had the thickest bedroll he had been able to find, and they had plenty of food. He had to make sure the lean-to was adequate should a storm come in and decided that tipping the sleigh on its side would help shield the horses from the worst of any bad weather. After spending two hours working outside, he headed back inside to find Bess cooking, and Zona sleeping. He whispered a thank you to Bess and quietly got some water to drink.

At the main house, things were not at all as peaceful. Sheena and Eleanor were very sick. Despite the best efforts of the men, each of the afflicted had high fevers. Eleanor didn't even want to drink. Ben insisted they keep forcing her to take liquids, but she refused to open her mouth most of the time no matter how much Joe cajoled her to do it.

"With that fever, if she doesn't drink, we could lose her. Eleanor will have to take a spoonful at a time so that's how we have to do this."

"Pa, how can we make her do that?" Joe was as scared as he could ever remember being.

"I learned to do this with Adam when he was little. He sometimes wouldn't want to drink milk if he was tired or to take medicine he needed if he was sick. He was a very stubborn child. You pinch the nose closed and when they open their mouth, you put in a spoonful of milk releasing the nose at the same time. They have to swallow. It's risky, but if that's the only way, we have to try it."

"Pa, will you do it? I'm too scared to try it."

"All right, Joe, but you watch. You're going to have to do it too until she starts to recover. Why don't you put the privacy screen back up for Sheena and tell her to sleep if she can. She doesn't need to see this." Ben was trying to be hopeful and positive, but he knew that the child's fever was extremely high. She wasn't crying as much as she had just a few hours earlier. He knew it was getting to be critical with her already. Within a short time, he got the cool milk from Hop Sing and began to force feed her until she gave in and drank the milk. Joe was slightly relieved but nothing seemed to bring her fever down.

Hoss was in charge of the hands who were sick. There were only a few as they had a smaller crew for the winter months. Hoss sent those who had never had the disease to the barn. The loft and the tack room were in reasonable condition but not supplied with the necessities so he had the necessities for at least a week put in the barn. The other hands were told not to have any direct contact with the men who were being isolated for their own health.

"Now remember, measles seems to spread so fast and easy that any contact has to be avoided." Once the men who hadn't had the disease and were healthy were isolated, Hoss had further instructions. "Now the men who are sick here are going to need round the clock care. I've set up a schedule for what everybody has to do. The men staying in the barn will handle those chores. I've already sent a hand to town to see about us getting some help out here, but I'm thinking we may have to do this on our own."

"Hoss, you think that this is in town too?"

"Yeah, I do. The only place anybody has been lately is to town so that's probably where somebody caught it and brought it here. We probably won't even know who brought it here first. It just happened. Now, we have to get the chores and such done, and everybody is going to have to pitch in. Adam ain't here. He's never had 'em so he's taking care of his wife and mine. Joe's got his hands full with his wife and daughter who have it. That leaves me to do the rest of the work around here and help out Pa and Joe and Hop Sing, and I can't do it all. Can I count on you men to do your best?"

The men nodded and Hoss thanked them. Then he moved to head back into the house, but Candy stopped him. "Griff is showing some signs of it, but he won't get in the bed. I thought that maybe the two of us could be more persuasive." Hoss and Candy walked over to where Griff sat with some of the other men playing cards.

"Now, I thought you pledged that you would follow orders when you got paroled into my Pa's custody."

"I'm not disobeying any orders."

"How about the one that says anyone who's sick has to be in their bunk resting for the next week?"

"Oh, that one. Hoss, I don't feel that sick."

"I know. I felt the same way when I had 'em, but to be sure you recover well and don't ruin your eyes or nothing, you need to do what my Pa said were the rules."

"Yes, sir." And Griff reluctantly retreated to his bunk. Candy looked at Hoss and grinned. At least they didn't have to worry about the teenager.

The hand sent to town returned with the news that the town had been quarantined. It didn't surprise anyone. They had all suspected that the disease had come from town. Hoss had said they didn't know who had brought the disease into their midst, but that wasn't true. He and Ben had talked about it. Hoss and his brothers had not been to town in nearly a month. With their wives nearing delivery time, and then the two babies being born, they had stayed close to home and the ladies had been inside most of the time. Zona had been in bed for a week because of pain in her legs. Hoss and Bess had spent much of their time at their new home putting the finishing touches on it hoping to move in there as soon as windows, stoves, and furniture arrived. The hands had been busy covering all the work under Candy's direction, and then the snow had put a damper on going to town. But on a Sunday, Ben had taken his granddaughter to church services. She had played with the other children after services. It was most likely that Eleanor had contracted the disease that day, and then she brought it home. It wasn't her fault of course, but Hoss and Ben did not want anyone ever blaming the girl because there was a strong likelihood that not everyone would survive this outbreak.

As Joe watched his father painstakingly trying to feed spoonfuls of milk to his daughter, Joe felt helpless. He feared very much that his daughter would not live. She had thin wispy curls of hair surrounding a fine featured face. She was very small with a cute little button mouth that was twisted in pain now as her grandfather did his best to give her fluid and nourishment she so desperately needed. After getting her to drink a half cup of milk, Ben put her up on lap and rocked her. Her condition was far worse than they suspected however as she spewed all the milk out. It smelled sour and looked curdled. Ben looked helplessly at Joe. He didn't know what else to do. Joe could barely hold the tears back. He stood and looked at his wife sleeping in a sweat soaked gown in the slightly chilled room and couldn't speak. He stood there for several minutes trying to compose himself and get ready to do what he needed to do but it was extremely difficult as he saw that the rash had spread to Sheena's neck and face and looked far worse as it mottled the skin making it look as hot as it probably felt. He looked at his father who was sitting in a chair holding Eleanor and softly humming to her. She was exhausted from hours of crying and struggling and had fallen asleep.

"Pa, I'll ask Hop Sing to help me clean up this mess. I'll be back as soon as I can, and then you can go get cleaned up too."

At that point, Joe had thought they had reached the crisis point and his wife and child would begin to recover. He was very wrong. Two days later, he stood at the lake with his father and Hoss looking at the two new graves that were beside his mother's. He had lost both of them within a few hours the day before. He was numb, and there were still sick people who needed their help. It was another week before the outbreak ended. Adam and Zona returned home, and Bess and Hoss finished their new home and moved there. Joe moved back into his old bedroom. It took days to pack up all of his wife's things as well as his daughter's. Joe did his best not to be maudlin and sad all the time because his brothers were looking forward to babies arriving. He remembered how excited he had been when Eleanor was born. He envied his brothers that joy, but he knew too the heartache it could cause if tragedy entered their lives as it had devastated his.

In early December, Joe volunteered to go to San Francisco with his father to negotiate timber contracts. Adam normally was the one to go but with Zona nearing the end of her pregnancy, Adam wanted to stay close. Hoss and Bess were also expecting their baby to arrive soon. Ben hoped to be back before the babies arrived, but Joe hoped that the babies might arrive while he was gone. It was quiet on the ranch until a man arrived saying they had trouble in the timber camp. Adam had to go to see about the trouble because Ben and Joe were gone, and Hoss had injured his hand working on finishing the nursery in his home. Zona asked Adam to please hurry back, but she had a sense of foreboding about this trip based on her nightmare.

"Sweetheart, it's winter. There's snow. I'm sure that your dream was because of the snow. You've never seen snowfall like this so I can understand how it could put you on edge."

"It is more of a threat than I ever imagined. I guess I always thought of snow as gentle flakes falling in the moonlight. I had no idea it could blow into these huge drifts and cover everything so thoroughly."

"I'll be careful, and I'll try to be home in three days. You rest while I'm gone and take care of our little one." With a gentle touch to Zona's swollen stomach and a light kiss, Adam headed out to the timber camp with Candy at his side for it wasn't safe for one man to travel alone in the weather they had been having.

Chapter 3

With a lot of experience traveling in snow, Adam and Candy rode single file and took turns being in the lead. The trip to the timber camp took about three times longer than it would have without the snow. They were glad they had not had to bring any equipment or supplies with them for that would have slowed them even more and probably would have meant camping in the snow. As it was, it was nearly dusk by the time they reached the camp, but Adam had expected that. He hoped to have the issues resolved the next day so that he could get home on the third day as he had promised Zona. He also knew she was very close to her time for delivering the baby so he was anxious as well to get back. Candy even wondered why he had made the trip.

"I didn't want to wait a day or two for Joe to get back and then send him out again. He's had enough on his mind without adding any more stress. I'm hoping that having some quiet time with Pa helped him. I couldn't expect Hoss to make the trip with a bad hand. That left me to go."

"You could have waited and let your father make the trip."

Adam just looked at Candy with a skeptical look. "After what we had to do to get up here today, you think I would let my father do it? He may be a strong man, but at his age, I don't want to push him to do something like that trip through the snow."

"Yeah, I guess I didn't think about it that way. You're right. Now, let's get some hot food and coffee."

"After we find a nice spot for the horses and then a warm place to sleep after dinner."

The foreman found them as they were taking care of their horses. He wanted to talk business right away, but Adam asked him to wait and discuss any concerns with them after they got a hot cup of coffee and some hot food. Later sitting at a table in the office warmed by a stove that generated a fair amount of heat, Adam listened as the foreman explained the issue.

"The men want to cut on the slopes closer to the camp especially with the early snows we got this year. It's a lot of work to trudge an extra half mile with the equipment and the horses when there's fine timber standing so much closer."

"Can I see the map?" Looking at the map, Adam remembered marking the slope that the men wanted to cut as a no-cut area but didn't remember why. Sometimes they kept some stands of trees as virgin forest for stability of the watershed, or because the trees had naturally been thinned by fire years earlier, or for any number of other reasons. These maps had been done quite a few years before, and there was no notation explaining why the area was not to be cut. "It seems simple enough. We'll go out there tomorrow morning and evaluate the area. Maybe the reason it is a no-cut zone is no longer valid. I can't tell from the map."

"I think you're probably right on that score. The slope is steep enough we won't even need a flume. We can slide them right down the hill. There is a drop off, but once the snow falls and fills in the talus, they'll keep rolling right on down to the bottom. It'll be the easiest harvest we've done in a long time."

The easy confidence of the foreman made Adam uneasy. He wondered if they had cut some of the trees already without checking the maps. If they had, then the problem, if there was one, could be compounded rather significantly. Candy saw his look and nodded. They waited for the foreman to leave before discussing it.

"Adam, I got the feeling that they may have gone ahead and started cutting there. The message they sent to the ranch house might have been no more than telling you they were going to do it. If they did, is that going to make this trip a lot more difficult?"

Adam frowned. He didn't know the answer to that question. "I wish I could remember why we marked that slope for no cutting. We rarely do that unless the reason is substantial. If the cut is questionable, we usually cut in a checkerboard fashion or we take less than the usual amount out not thinning it as much. To say no cutting at all meant that there was something very important about that slope. I just don't remember."

"Maybe it's not that important then if you can't remember?"

"No, I'm afraid it may have been very important. I made these maps a long time ago, and I don't remember because so much has happened since then, but no one in the family marked it any differently so they must have thought the reason was valid."

There was nothing they could do about anything that night, and both were very tired so they went to bed early expecting to get up early and head out to the slope after a good hot breakfast. It worked much as they expected. Adam stood on the slope the next morning staring up the side of the mountain. Candy was at his side and the foreman was approaching when Adam began talking.

"Have you done any cutting on this slope because it looks like a few logs have been sliding down here?"

"Well, we cut only a couple to see if the slope worked as well as we thought it might before we contacted you. We wanted to make sure that what we thought was true."

"It doesn't matter. This slope is too dangerous to cut."

"What? We cut some trees, and there was no problem."

"Look up the side of the mountain and you can see that these trees are shorter than all the rest. If you look over the drop off, you can see that the talus slope looks more like a landslide than the side of the mountain slowly breaking up. This is an avalanche hazard. It's obvious that at least one has happened here before. It's too dangerous to cut here."

The foreman stared at him wondering how to tell him what he had told a crew to do that morning. Finally he decided not to tell him but just to tell the crew not to do it. Turning up the slope, he yelled. "Don't slide it down."

Adam looked down at his feet as the man yelled. The top layer of snow appeared to have moved. He grabbed the foreman and Candy by the shoulder. "Run! As fast as you can, run!" Adam pushed them to get them started and then began running as fast as he could across the slope headed back toward the camp. Instinctively Candy knew that this man didn't panic unless there was a damn good reason so he kept running right behind Adam. The foreman hesitated not understanding why the two men were running until he heard a crackling from up above. He looked and saw what looked like a wall of trees and snow headed toward him. He never had a chance of escaping it because of his hesitation although he did try to run as he had been told to do. Adam looked back and saw the same thing headed their way and knew they wouldn't make it either. He headed toward the drop off and yelled to Candy to follow him. He dropped down the twelve feet and Candy was soon beside him. Snow was already flying over their heads. Adam pulled his coat up over his head and dropped to his knees facing the side of the mountain pressing himself in as close to it as he could. Candy imitated him, but soon felt snow and branches scraping across his back. In a minute it was over. Candy worked to turn around and all he could see was blackness. He reached out and felt hard packed snow.

"Well, now we're in a mess. I don't suppose you brought a shovel with you?"

Candy turned to look at Adam as if he could see him in the darkness. "Are you always a smart ass?"

"Most of the time. Now, we've got a big job ahead of us. We have to dig our way out. I'm guessing there are tons of snow above us, so we're going to go sideways instead. All along this rock wall, the snow should be lighter or even open. We can get out this way."

"How can you know that? You can't see anything either." Adam said nothing so Candy did. "So I suppose it's because you're older and smarter. Joe has told me that you said that to him on more than one occasion." Adam was still quiet. "All right, we'll do it your way. It probably would work better than trying to dig up through snow and trees that are probably twelve feet thick right about here. We'll probably find more air doing it your way too."

"Candy, I do like that about you."

"What?"

"You do hold a rather logical conversation with yourself when given the chance." Adam turned slowly to the right not making a sound to let Candy know how badly he was hurt. It wouldn't matter anyway if they didn't get out of here, and neither of his injuries was going to stop him from crawling and digging at the snow. They wouldn't be able to switch positions though because the space they had was too narrow. "I'll dig at the snow and push it behind me as much as I can. You'll have to take it and push it behind you except when we find open spaces, but they probably won't be any bigger than the one we're in now."

"All right. Enough talking. Just start digging." Adam and Candy turned to start the arduous task of digging out from under the avalanche. Candy bumped Adam's foot causing him excruciating pain in his ankle. He knew it was hurt but wouldn't need it for what they were doing. He only hoped he wouldn't have it jarred too often as the pain would be as exhausting as the work they had to do, and he needed all of the strength he had for that task.

Up above, the loggers has seen the men running and then saw their foreman swept down the slope even as they saw Adam and Candy disappear from sight over the drop off. They carefully walked down to that spot, but all they could see was snow. Mixed in with it were rocks, boulders, and trees. They couldn't see how anyone could have survived such an avalanche. The man who had worked as the foreman's assistant sent two men to tell the Cartwrights what had happened. He told the others that they should wait for instructions.

On the Ponderosa, Joe and Ben were arriving home when the two messengers from the timber camp arrived. They saw Ben and approached him with the news. He had been leading Buck into the stable and had to lean against him when he heard what had happened. Joe was in shock. He didn't think he could take any more loss than what he had suffered only a few months earlier. He had talked with his father on this trip and was slowly finding some peace, but now that was shattered. Hoss came outside because he had heard horses arriving. Seeing his father looking almost gray and Joe standing with his eyes closed, Hoss was as scared as he could be.

"What happened? Pa, you all right? Joe, what's going on?"

Joe opened his eyes and looked to Hoss before pointing to the two messengers. The two men repeated what had happened at the timber camp, and then Hoss was in as much shock as the others. It took a moment for him to realize he needed to take charge.

"You two men go in the bunkhouse and get some food. We'll head back to the timber camp tomorrow. Send two hands out here to take care of these horses. We'll be taking a full crew up to that camp tomorrow. We're gonna find my brother and Candy."

"Hoss, what are we going to tell Zona? This is an awful big shock. It could cause problems for her in her condition." Joe was worried about Zona and the baby almost as much as he was worried about Adam and Candy especially because of what had happened to Sheena and the baby she was carrying when she died.

"I know. We're gonna tell her that there's been some trouble at the timber camp, and we're going up there tomorrow to take care of it. Don't say nothing about what those men said. Adam and Candy ain't dead. I ain't believing that for one minute. We're gonna find 'em."

Ben finally found his voice. "Hoss, men lost in an avalanche have to be found before they run out of air. By the time we get there tomorrow, it will be a day and a half without air. How can they survive that?"

"Pa, don't you say that and don't you forget that it's Adam and Candy. They're two of the smartest men I know. Those two loggers said that it looked like Adam and Candy jumped over the edge before the snow got there. I'm hoping that means that my brother had a plan, and now he and Candy are working that plan to get out of there alive. We're gonna take some shovels and such, and we're gonna go help 'em. Now you just tell Zona what I said we're gonna tell her, and I'm gonna go talk with the men and tell 'em what we're gonna do. We'll head out of here tomorrow morning as soon as we can."

"Hoss, should you be leaving Bess now? She's almost ready to have that baby."

"I know, but she'll understand. Hop Sing will be here to help, and one of the hands can ride for the doc whenever if it happens."

"Maybe she should stay in the main house with Zona. It would be good for Zona, I think, and then they could help each other."

"All right. That sounds like a good idea. I'll talk to her about that. We'll get it all worked out by tomorrow morning."

Chapter 4

"So this is your best guess as to where they were when they avalanche reached them?" Ben stood in the midst of the avalanche looking at tons of snow mixed with broken, fallen trees and ragged junks of rocks and boulders that had been sluiced down the hill. Ben had seen avalanche results before, but this one had to be the worst by far. His heart had sunk when he first saw what had happened. He couldn't help but look up the hill at the devastation wrought by snow. He had told Zona it was just snow, and they would dig Adam and Candy out of it, but looking at it, he doubted those words completely.

Hoss was as shocked as his father, but he wouldn't let anything discourage him. He was as sure as he could be that both Adam and Candy were alive. His older brother and his friend who was like a brother had to be alive as far as he was concerned, and there was no benefit to thinking they were not. He took the shovel he had and began digging. Joe watched him start, but he felt hopeless. He had endured the death of his wife, unborn child, and daughter as well as the months of grief and loneliness that followed, and now he feared he had to accept the death of his oldest brother and his good friend. It was threatening to overwhelm him. Ben saw how differently his two sons were facing this. He picked up a shovel and handed it to Joe before grabbing another and digging beside Hoss. Soon Joe was on the other side of Hoss digging as well. Silently the other men picked up shovels and joined the effort although none of them expected to find anyone alive in that mess. They spent the day digging but made little progress as the snow had hardened into icy blocks that required pick axes and rope to move once they cleared an area around each one. They had to saw through yard wide tree trunks. Rocks had to be pulled from the excavation as the icy chunks of snow were. Progress was exceedingly slow where they were digging.

Under the avalanche and against the side of the drop off, the digging was easier except that Adam and Candy had no tools. Adam had removed his gloves to better dig for a time until his fingers were bloody and he had to stop. The digging had been slow then until they found some broken tree branches that they could use. Adam and Candy were nearing exhaustion having been digging almost nonstop for over a day and a half. They didn't sleep for they knew that would likely mean they would die. They did have water because they could suck on the snow but didn't do that any more than they had to do it because they were in danger of hypothermia as well.

"Adam, does it seem that it's getting a bit lighter in our snow prison?"

Twisting his head around, Adam was able to make out the shape of Candy behind him. He had thought too that it was getting lighter where they were and seeing Candy was proof that he was not hallucinating. He sat down then and leaned against the rock wall. "It's up to you to get us out of here then."

"Why? You can't give up now!"

"No, but I can't stand on my ankle either, and we need to clear a way up through the snow now. It shouldn't be too difficult. The snow has been getting softer and easier to dig through for the last couple of hours."

"Why didn't you say something about your ankle before?"

"I didn't need it until now."

Shaking his head, Candy began clawing and chipping away at the snow above them. It fell on Adam who pulled his legs up to his body as tightly as he could to give Candy room to dump the snow. It was going to be tight. Within about fifteen minutes, the snow fell in on them as Candy cleared enough. They saw the sky for the first time in about thirty-six hours.

"All right, now, you stand up with my help and I'll push you up through that hole."

"You should go first."

"Enough with giving the orders. I've done everything you told me to do since we ended up down here. Now it's your turn. I'll push you up, and then you can help pull me up."

"I guess it wouldn't work the other way."

"No, it wouldn't. You finally see that I can have good ideas too. Now let me help you stand, and I'll push you up by using my hands as a stirrup on your good leg."

It was extremely awkward and difficult to do, but finally Candy had Adam's foot in his hand and heaved him up. Slowly he watched as Adam pulled himself the rest of the way out of the hole and then dropped an arm to help Candy get out. Using the snow, Candy built up a step until he could reach Adam's hand. Then on the count of three, he jumped as high as he could as Adam pulled. He was halfway out but in danger of pulling both of them back into the hole when it seemed hands appeared from everywhere and pulled him up and out. He had hands slapping his back and yelling his name. It took a moment to realize it was the rest of the Cartwrights and a bunch of hands from the Ponderosa.

"Dadgummit, Candy, it was a miracle to see a body come slithering up outta that snow. We were up there digging until Joe saw Adam coming out. That yellow coat of his is like a flag waving in all this snow. Then to see your head pop out as we got close set my heart to thumping. It sure is good to see the two of you."

Ben was concerned because Adam didn't even try to stand, and he dropped to his knees beside his eldest son. The words he heard almost made him cry.

"Pa, my ankle is hurting too bad to stand. Do you think you could help me?"

"I would be very happy to help you. Joe, could you take the other side?"

Between the two of them, they got Adam up and began hobbling toward the camp. Several hands came up to help and they soon had Adam's legs so that they could carry him, and that made the trek through the snow easier and faster than helping an injured man to walk. Once they got the two exhausted men back to camp, they got them out of their damp clothing and wrapped in warm blankets. Both were given cups of hot coffee and some stew. Hoss wrapped Adam's ankle after they removed his boots.

"It don't look broken. It looks more like an awful sprain, but that probably is about the same as if it was broken. You aren't going to be able to walk for a bit. As soon as you get done with that coffee and stew, I want to look at your back and at Candy's. Looks like you got pounded real good by stuff."

"Yes, the first wave of snow coming over had a lot of rocks and tree branches mixed in. I felt a blow to my back, but I couldn't do anything about it. Hoss, what did you tell Zona?"

"Adam, we told her we was coming up here to dig you and Candy out. I was sure you two were still alive so we left her with that idea."

"Hoss, she's so close. I hope that worrying won't make her start. Paul said she was close and almost anything could start it."

"Bess is close too, and we'll get you home tomorrow so both of us can be there when our babies get born. Now you need to sleep." Hoss had finished looking over the bruises on Adam's back determining that they were not the result of some internal injury although they were very tender and purple.

"Hoss, I can't sleep."

"Adam, you ain't even tried. Close your eyes, and I can darn well guarantee ya that you're gonna sleep."

Almost reluctantly, Adam closed his eyes. Hoss' prophecy was correct. As soon as Adam gave in to his exhaustion, he was asleep. Candy watched from the next bunk.

"If I had to be trapped in an avalanche, I'm glad it was with him. He saved my life twice. First he got me to run sideways. I would have run straight down that hill trying to get away. Then when we got down by that drop off and got buried, he was cool and calm as could be. He just said how we were gonna dig ourselves out by following the wall of that drop off until we got away from where the avalanche had been. He never said a word about that ankle, and it must have been hurting him terribly."

"Yup, that's our older brother. Now once I take a look at your back, you need to sleep too. We'll get this camp organized and ready to go. Tomorrow, we'll head on home." Candy nodded pleased to see how Hoss had taken charge. He knew he had it in him, but he hadn't asserted himself like that before. With a small smile, Candy closed his eyes and felt a final firm squeeze on the shoulder from Hoss just before he fell asleep.

Walking across the room, Hoss joined Ben and Joe at a table. Ben was talking softly to Joe, and Hoss had a fairly good idea what it was that had their attention. That was proven by Joe's next statement.

"I'm glad God saw fit to save Adam and Candy. It's really great that Adam can be with his wife when his child is born, but if God could do that, why couldn't he save Eleanor. She was only a little thing, but she still had her life to live. She never got a chance. She was completely innocent and just lost her life for no reason."

"Joe, we can't begin to understand God's mind, but he gives us choices and challenges. People have asked your question over and over. If God took care of every bad thing that could happen to us, and if he vanquished all the evil in the world for us, what would be the point of us living? He's given us these lives to live to show what kind of people we are and if we can keep our faith and our beliefs even when the most awful and painful things happen to us and to those we love."

"I find it so hard to accept that, Pa."

"I know, Joseph, because I felt the same way many times and questioned my faith in God." Both Hoss and Joe knew very well what he meant by that. "What I have to believe is that those lives were not lost. They got to go to heaven and live there while I still had to prove my faith here on earth. I can only hope that I have done that well enough so that I can join them someday."

"Pa, I don't like you talking about leaving. Too many have left lately. I need all of you to stick around for a while yet."

"Joe, don't you worry. As long as we stick together, Pa and all of us will be sticking around for a long time. Now eat that stew. Everybody needs to get some good food and some rest. We got to get Adam home tomorrow, and that ain't gonna be the easiest thing especially with that ankle of his."

"Hoss, if it's not broken, why would it be such a problem?" Ben had thought that bruising would be less painful than a break, but he had to trust Hoss' expertise on this one because his son was a natural healer.

"Pa, we're gonna have to splint it like it's broken, or he'll have so much pain, he'll fall right outta that saddle. But riding with a splint on ain't easy neither so he's gonna need a lot of help so we can keep up a good pace and get home by tomorrow night. I'm thinking we'll have the hands and Joe break a trail in front of us. Then you ride next to Candy, and I'll ride next to Adam to make sure they can ride all right. Both of them are probably gonna be feeling pretty stiff and sore tomorrow. They got pounded by the avalanche and then worked real hard for a day and a half or more. Between some nasty bruises on their backs from the avalanche and then the cuts and scrapes and sore muscles from digging out, they're gonna feel every step of those horses."

Ben and Joe nodded, but Ben was also pleased with the take-charge attitude of his middle son. He hadn't seen much of that before, but Hoss seemed to fit the role very naturally. "Hoss, you have done very well with this rescue mission. You tell us what to do, and we'll do it. Right, Joe?"

"Right, Pa. Hoss sure knew what he was doing bringing us all up here. I feel better about things than I have since I lost Sheena and Eleanor. It felt good to have something turn out well and not have to deal with losing anyone. Life is looking up again."

Chapter 5

On the Ponderosa, there was another kind of crisis. Zona and Bess had been talking. Unfortunately the first day when Zona asked, Bess had explained what an avalanche was and how fast rescues had to be done in order for anyone caught in one to survive.

"But it's been a day and a half not hours! Adam could be dead!"

Realizing what she had done, Bess tried to reassure Zona. "No, Hoss said that Adam knew what to do, and that they'd have him and Candy out of there in no time." Now Bess had been feeling some cramping and thought it was possible she was going into labor, but the pains had been far apart and not very bad at all. She had no one to ask so she had thought to wait a bit and see if they got worse and/or closer together. As Zona began to panic, Bess felt her cramps do just that. She bent over in pain with the latest one that shook up Zona.

"Bess, what's wrong? Oh, no, you're having the baby, aren't you. Let me get Hop Sing and then we'll get you up to your bed."

Zona rushed to the kitchen and returned with the family cook and friend who had also helped the family through innumerable injuries and illnesses over the years. He and Zona helped the much taller Bess to stand, and her water broke. She was embarrassed and wanted to help clean up the mess.

"No, no, Hop Sing clean up after you in bed. Missy Zona help you get ready. Hop Sing send for doctor and take care everything else."

After Hop Sing left, Zona helped Bess strip the bed and place towels and old sheets on it. Then Bess slipped on a clean gown and laid back in the bed just as a major contraction hit.

"Zona, I don't think the little one is going to wait for the doctor. I think you and Hop Sing are going to have to help me."

"Bess, that might be a problem."

"It's as natural as anything, Zona. You can do it."

"No, I'm scared for Adam and now I think our little one is coming too. I'm feeling some terrible cramping down low. Is that what it feels like?"

"I guess so. That's what I felt, but I've never done this before either. You better tell Hop Sing and get yourself in your bed too. He's gonna have his hands full if both of us are doing this at the same time."

"Bess, I want Adam to be here. I want him to be all right. I'm afraid for him, and for me, and for our baby."

"I know, and I'm sorry I opened my big mouth and scared you, but Hoss said he was sure Adam would be alive when they got there. You gotta trust the big man. He's usually right. He's gonna be mad at me for getting you so scared."

Zona nodded as she left the room, but the tears didn't stop. She grabbed some towels from the linen closet and went to the bedroom she shared with Adam doing the same to her bed as she had helped Bess do to hers. Then she slowly removed her dress and slipped on a gown. She kept coming back to the things that Bess had said about avalanche rescues and how Hoss was 'usually' right. She closed her eyes ad cried silently as she prayed for her husband and her baby. When Doctor Martin arrived, he was told by Hop Sing that both ladies had started their labor.

"These Cartwrights never do anything the easy way even if they are Cartwrights by marriage. Well, let's get inside. Griff, come with us. We're going to need another set of hands to help."

"What? Huh? I can't help. I've never helped anyone with a baby."

"Neither has any other man out in the bunkhouse, but you're closest so come with us. Wait, go wash your hands first and put on clean clothes although they aren't likely to stay clean. Then Hop Sing will tell you what you need to do. Now go."

Paul had to smile a bit at the young hand's look of sheer terror. He was sure Griff would try to get someone else to help, but knowing cowhands the way he did, Paul knew he would see Griff upstairs very soon and probably with a very scared look. As he walked up the stairs, he heard two women crying out in pain. He thought he would check in on Zona first. As the smaller of the two women, he thought she might be the one most likely to have trouble. He entered that bedroom to find Zona leaning against the bed instead of being in it.

"Zona, you should be resting."

"Doctor, I knew you were going to say that, but it hurts more when I'm lying down. This feels better although it still hurts much more than I knew. I've never been around a baby being born, and this little ankle biter is hurting me something fierce. I know it has to be a boy."

"Ankle biter?"

"Ah, it's a word for a toddler or very small child. You know, they're down crawling around by your ankles. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be offensive in any way."

"Zona, it's all right. I was simply confused by a term I had never heard before. It didn't offend at all. With what I've heard women say while I was helping them with their babies has been so broad a spectrum, that I'm not sure anything anyone could say would offend me. Now, could you recline on the bed for me to examine you quickly? Then I need to get in to see Bessie Sue."

"Who?"

"I'm sorry, I simply slipped back into what she was called before she and Hoss got together officially. It's Bess now, I know. Now let me see how you're doing."

After an exam, Paul was relieved somewhat for it appeared that Zona had just begun to have contractions even if they were very strong but they were still several minutes apart. He hoped that Bess would have her baby so that he could spend more time with Zona later. Either way, the next twelve hours or so looked to be a busy time. He found Bess was struggling a great deal and had to calm her down first before he could examine her.

"Bess, everything looks normal but the baby seems big. Now with Hoss being large and you being a tall woman, that's not too surprising, but for a first birth, you may find this more painful than you expected. Let me assure you though that everything seems fine. Now I want you to relax in between the pains and breathe deeply. Then when the pains come, I'll tell you what to do. All right?"

Bess nodded. It was calming to have the doctor there. At least she wasn't alone any more. She followed his instructions, but unfortunately his caution that the pain would be more than she expected was only too true. She had helped horses foal and cows calve, but nothing in that had prepared her for the feeling that she was being turned inside out by this baby. By the time Paul told her that the baby had crowned and she needed to push, she had to dig deep for reserves of strength. Hop Sing was there wiping her brow and her arms with cool cloths the whole time and occasionally giving her sips of soothing tea. When Paul told her to push and then to push and then push more, she thought she would faint. Somehow she didn't but collapsed when she felt the baby leave her birth canal. She couldn't even open her eyes at first, but then wanted to get out of bed when she heard the baby cry.

"No, no, Missy Bess must stay laying down. I clean up, and doctor clean up baby. We take care of everything and Missy Bess just stay resting."

"But, Hop Sing, the baby is crying."

At the foot of the bed, Doctor Martin was busy wiping the baby and then wrapping him in a soft cotton blanket that Hop Sing had provided. "Bess, I'm cleaning him up, but that cry tells you he's healthy. He's a big one, but he's fine. Now in just a moment, I'll lift him up so you can see him and hold him if you want." Paul lifted the baby who still had the umbilical cord trailing out of the blanket and settled him across Bess' chest. "Hold him there while I tie off the cord." Once that was done and Hop Sing had cleared away everything, Paul pulled a clean sheet up over Bess and then laid a blanket down on top of that before he and Hop Sing put a couple of pillows behind Bess propping her up. "There, now, you can get to know your son while I go see to Zona. Griff hasn't come running so everything must be all right in there. He's going to be sitting with you next so Hop Sing can help with the next delivery."

It was late at night by the time that Bess finished her labor. Zona was getting into the home stretch by dawn. Finally by midmorning, both babies and both mothers were sleeping soundly and Hop Sing and Doctor Martin could sit down and get something to eat. Paul went into the downstairs guest room then to sleep, and Hop Sing went to his room at the back of the house. They told Griff to let them know if they were needed. Griff sat in a chair in the hallway upstairs with both bedroom doors open so he could hear if there was any need for him. He had been able to sleep that morning after Bess nursed her baby although he wasn't sure he would ever be able to get that picture out of his head. Then Doctor Martin had said that Zona was nursing her baby which was a great relief to Griff that he didn't have to assist her. Paul had smiled benevolently at him and then told him what he had to do next. He said as many prayers as he could remember his mother teaching him as a youngster, and looked up to Heaven and thanked God when he heard horses and looked out the window of the bedroom where Bess was asleep to see everyone safely back. As quietly and as quickly as he could, he raced down the stairs to open the front door and welcome them back. Hoss was the first into the house followed by Ben supporting Adam who was hopping on one leg, and then Candy who was leaning on Joe.

"I'm sure awful glad to see you back here. Hoss, I'm sorry I had to look at your wife's breasts but Doc said I had to stay until the baby was done and then I had to rock him. Adam, thank God, I never had to look at your wife's breasts cause Doc done it for me. I had to sit with your wife though, and she was crying so I tried to wipe her tears away but she grabbed my hand and made me sit by her. I swear it was all her idea. I never would have sat on your bed with your wife if she hadn't made me but she was so scared, I guess she needed somebody. Now that you're here, I can finally get out of here. Oh Doc is sleeping in the downstairs bedroom and Hop Sing is sleeping too so I guess there's nothing to eat, well nothing hot anyway, but you all can take care of that, I guess. I'm going."

Hoss and an exhausted Adam were staring at the young man, but Joe and Candy were laughing. Ben shushed them and halted Griff before he could escape to the bunkhouse.

"Are you saying that Bess and Zona had the babies, and you helped?"

"Yes, sir, Mr. Cartwright, I did, but I didn't want to, but nobody else would help so Doc said then I had to do it. I never want to do anything like that ever again, Mr. Cartwright. I don't care what anybody pays me, I'm never doing it again."

Hoss had turned to rush up the stairs, but Adam couldn't manage on his own so Ben continued on with him although Adam wanted to go faster than Ben would allow so there was some angry muttering from the oldest son. Everyone could hear Hoss when he woke Bess and saw his son for the first time. It made everyone smile, but then there was a plaintive cry from Zona, and Ben began to move faster with Adam so he wouldn't try to hop there on his own. Once Ben got Adam to the doorway, he let him lean on the door frame.

"Oh, my God, you're all right. I prayed and prayed." Zona started crying, and that woke the baby who started crying as well.

"Adam, go to your wife. I'll get the baby for you."

Adam hopped over to the bed and sat by his wife pulling her gently into his arms and rubbing her back softly. "It's all right. I'm fine. I know Hoss told you I would be, and I am."

"But you're hopping?"

"My ankle is hurt, but that's all." A harrumph from Ben made him amend that. "Well, I have some bruises too, but that's all." Zona was trembling but gradually getting her composure. Ben handed the baby to Adam who held him almost reverently, but that made the baby cry.

"Son, pull him close to you and hold him tight. It's a cold scary world for him right now and he needs the reassurance of your warmth and your embrace."

Pulling his son into his arms and cuddling him, Adam began to rock slowly from side to side calming his son. Zona put one hand on the baby and one on Adam's arm.

"What's his name?"

Adam looked at Zona who nodded. "We had picked out Gabriel if it was a boy, so he's Gabriel Michael Cartwright."

"A good name. Now I have another grandchild to meet."

Ben pulled the door closed to let the family have some privacy and allow Adam to tell Zona what had happened to him. He stepped through the door to see Hoss sitting with Bess leaning back into him and holding a large baby. Bess looked exhausted yet.

"Pa, this here's Isaiah Anthony Cartwright. Ain't he a big one, Pa?"

That was almost an understatement. Joe and Candy came up to see the babies next and were complimentary at the beauty of Adam's son, and the impressive size of Hoss' son. Isaiah even picked his head up for a moment and appeared to look at them.

"Hoss, I may have to buy him a shaving kit for his first birthday. He's almost big enough already."

"Joe, I don't want you joking about his size."

"Sorry, Hoss, I was just kidding a little. He is a very handsome boy. You should be very proud to have him for your son."

Ben was able to hold him for a while as the proud grandfather. "Hoss, he looks both like Inger and like Bess. He's going to be tall and strong, and with that blond hair, blue eyes, and those lips, he's going to be catching the girls' eyes very soon."

"What does Adam's son look like?"

"He looks a lot like Adam did at birth. He's long and slender. He's got dark fuzz so I would guess he's going to have dark hair like his father and mother."

"Pa, this is gonna be a great Christmas this year, ain't it?" Then Hoss saw Joe turn and leave. "I'm sorry, Pa. I wasn't thinking. I'll talk to Joe later."

"He'll be fine, Hoss, but your joy and Adam's have reminded him very painfully of what he lost. He was holding it in, but talking about Christmas was more than he could handle right now. He's still grieving."

"I know. I'll tell him how sorry I am. Could you let him know I will?"

"Hoss, Joe and I have been talking about loss a lot. He understands, but his heart is still broken and needs more time to heal. He knows you didn't mean to cause him any pain. You can't hold back your joy and neither can Adam nor should you. This is a time of celebration. Joe will be all right. He'll come to love these two little boys, but you need to give him some time.

Chapter 6

"Mr. Cartwright, we been looking but we can't find his body at all. Maybe in spring, we can find him and bury him." Before leaving the lumber camp, Ben had appointed the foreman's assistant as temporary foreman and was getting the first report the man had to deliver. There apparently was no sign of the foreman who had also been caught in the avalanche. Ben nodded waiting for him to continue. "We started cutting again using the maps that are marked off. We have to go the long way around to avoid that avalanche so it's taking more time. We were wondering if it was all right to cut a road across that slope or if that's too dangerous to do."

"I've asked Adam, and he said it's too dangerous at this point. In the summer, we'll see what we can do to make another avalanche less likely, but right now that slope is extremely slippery. Frankly, I would rather not see as many trees cut rather than see another man die. Now you tell that to the men. Safety is more important than cutting. We pay by the day, and as long as we get an honest day's work, we won't worry about how fast things are going. We don't have any contracts with penalties in them at the moment, so you use your best judgment on where to cut, but follow the marked trees and the maps."

"Is Adam all right? I mean, will he be able to come up to the camps and help us mark trees for cutting. We only got about enough marked for the next month."

"Right now, he's on crutches. In a month, someone will be up there to mark trees. Now, would you like to have a hot meal while we finish our discussion? Hop Sing has been keeping stew hot because with everything that's happened, meal times have been disrupted." Ben and his timber foreman went into the kitchen for some lunch.

Upstairs, Adam had to tell his wife what was in his heart. "Zona, sweetheart, I'm so sorry to have missed the birth of my son." Adam was sitting by his wife as she nursed their son. The whole process was fascinating to him, and he loved the look of contentment that both his son and his wife got when it was time for Gabriel to suckle.

Smiling, Zona told him that she understood. "I would have missed it too if I could have, but I think I had an easier time of it than Bess. Paul said that Isaiah is very big. I can't wait to see him. Maybe Papa or Hoss can bring him over here so we can see him." Refreshed after a good night's sleep and time to recuperate from the delivery, Zona had some questions. "And now tell me what happened to you. And what happened to your hands? And what happened to your leg?"

"It's not my leg. It's my ankle and it got bruised up a little when we got caught in the avalanche. We had some cover but the stuff coming over the top of us wasn't just snow. Our backs got pummeled, and something hit my ankle very hard. I couldn't dig out enough snow with my gloves on so for a while, I did it with my bare hands. You have to know I would do anything to get back to my family." Seeing the wide-eyed look Zona had at that point, Adam knew he had said too much, but he couldn't take any of it back. He had to explain in more detail that hardly helped, but finally Paul showed up at their door saying he had heard his services were needed.

"Now, you should let your wife and son rest. You can hobble downstairs with these crutches your father dug out of storage, and I'll take a look at that ankle."

Soon Adam was sitting in the blue chair wrapped in his robe with a thick wrapping around his ankle that rested on pillows on the table in front of the fireplace. Hop Sing had bathed Adam's fingers in some soothing solution so that he could comfortably hold a cup of coffee. He wanted to be back in his bedroom with his wife and child, but he knew he would make too much noise clomping around with the crutches. He had to be content knowing they were sleeping quietly. Hoss came down with his son and rocked him as the others praised the handsome blond little boy. Ben would have been content with how everything had turned out except he saw the looks that passed over Joe's face when he thought no one was looking. He was having a very difficult time being joyful for his brothers when all of this reminded him so much of his painful losses.

After Hoss went back upstairs with his son, Joe moved over and sat near Adam. Ben wondered what it was that Joe wanted to say to his oldest brother, but thought he wouldn't likely say it while he was there. "I think I'll go out to do the chores."

"Pa, I'll help you."

"No, that's all right, Joe. I'll get some of the hands to help. You stay here in case someone needs something. Hop Sing is busy in the kitchen, and Adam can't get around too well with those crutches."

So Joe sat silently on the settee near Adam who looked over at him several times until he had to force the issue. "Just spit it out."

"Spit what out?"

"Whatever it is that you have on your mind and want to say to me."

"Well, you don't always have to be right, but you are this time. I don't know how to say it though." Adam waited silently letting his youngest brother collect his thoughts and formulate how he wanted to say what was on his mind. "I was wondering if you wanted to move into that bedroom down here that you built for me and Sheena. It's a real nice one, and Hoss and Bess will be moving back into their house in a day or two, so I thought maybe you would like a nice place for you and Zona."

"Joe, we did build it for you. Are you sure you don't want to use it or is it too much grief?"

"No, it makes me feel guilty."

"Joe, Sheena was weakened by her disability and by being with child. Nothing could have helped her survive the measles, and you shouldn't feel guilty."

"Adam, that's not why I feel guilty. I have a confession to make. Sometimes I feel kind of relieved that she's gone. I know I shouldn't feel that way, and I did love her, but after the things she did, it was a burden. I forgave her, but I couldn't forget, and it was always between us. Carrying those memories of what she had done did affect my feelings. That's why I feel guilty and why being in that room is so uncomfortable."

"Joe, I can understand that, but you must miss Eleanor so much. I've only known that I had my son for a few hours, and I couldn't bear the thought of something bad happening to him."

"Yes, it was losing Eleanor that was almost too much to take. I don't understand how a father can live longer than his child. It doesn't seem natural at all. I think about her every day, and I'm starting to think I always will. Is that how you or Hoss would feel if you lost your boys?"

"I don't know, but I think so. I can only pray I never have to face the loss of my son. I guess I would be asking how God could let that happen, but I bet you got that talk from Pa already." Joe nodded to that. "It's not a satisfactory answer when you're grieving, is it? But it's the best answer we have."

"What about the bedroom then?"

"I'll talk to Zona and ask what she wants to do. We'll talk it over. I guess at this point, moving into that bigger room and being on the first floor would be nice, but I won't do it unless she's comfortable with the idea. Joe, regardless of the decision we make, I guess we should think about redoing that room. We could paint it and put in new curtains. That way anytime you need to be in there, you won't get hit so hard by seeing it as it was when you lost Eleanor and Sheena."

"Thanks, Adam. Yeah, that would help. It'll help to decorate for Christmas too. Even though there will be some sad times too especially when I remember last year with Eleanor, there will be lots of change too. Hey, how are you going to help us get a tree this year? Every year you've been here, the three of us went out to get a tree."

"I may not be able to walk, but I can drive the sleigh."

"Right, now that's a plan. Do you suppose we'll have to get one for Hoss' house too?"

Adam nodded as he noted how deftly Joe had changed the subject and was channeling his thoughts and energies into the Christmas holiday and what other members of the family might want. When Ben got back into the house, he found Adam and Joe talking about the holiday and how they were going to decorate. He relaxed knowing that Joe had made another step toward accepting his losses. Adam struggled up the stairs on his crutches to have dinner with Zona. Hoss came down and got a tray for him and his wife. That left Joe and Ben at the table so they invited Griff and Candy to have dinner with them.

For the next week, Adam was on crutches and had difficulty helping with even the most simple tasks with Gabriel because he couldn't lift him or carry him. Luckily, Zona was able to do what needed to be done because her labor had been relatively easy, and she was feeling quite a bit better by the next day. Adam and Zona did spend a lot of time in their bedroom with their son, but came down for lunch and for dinner as well as spending evenings on the settee visiting with Ben and Joe who liked having Gabriel to hold, but Joe found his nephew to be very different from Isaiah.

"He hardly ever cries. He lays there looking at you with those big eyes, and just when you think he doesn't like you, he smiles."

"He smiles when he passes gas too."

"Adam!"

"Sweetheart, he does. He smiles after every bodily function."

"Maybe he does, but you shouldn't talk about him that way."

Adam rolled his eyes as Ben laughed. "Adam was just like that as a baby. I thought all babies were quiet until I got Hoss. Then I got Joseph and found that some babies really do cry a lot."

"Hey!"

"Sorry, Joe, but Pa's telling the truth. Nobody got much sleep for the first few months you were with us. You cried every time you wanted something, and you seemed to cry especially loudly at night."

The teasing and the easy banter were doing more to help Joe get back to himself than any talks or grieving could do. Laughter and family were the best medicine for his emotional wounds.

Hoss and Bess moved back to their house after three days, but Hop Sing's cousin was hired to help because Bess was still recovering from the delivery of their large baby. Hoss decided that he liked Hop Sing's cousin and soon, Li-Hua was working full time for the family. She cooked, cleaned, and did laundry for Hoss and Bess as well as assisting Hop Sing with the chickens and the garden. She was an excellent baker and began providing desserts for both houses.

Leaning on one crutch, Adam began painting the downstairs bedroom. Zona liked the idea of the larger bedroom and that it was on the first floor but felt uncomfortable with the bedroom as it had been decorated for Sheena and Joe. Adam painted it in a soft gray, and Zona began working on some rose colored curtains. Within a week, they were able to have all of their things moved into the larger room with the great view. For the next nine months or so, Gabriel would share the room with them until he was able to sleep through the night every night. They could hope it might happen sooner, but Ben told them that about nine months would be normal.

Adam began making some changes to how care for his son was done. He didn't like the drying and reusing of wet diapers. He got a covered bucket and had Zona place every one of them in the water in the bucket. Every day or so, Adam had Hop Sing wash the diapers or did it himself.

"I hate holding my son and having him smell like piss. Those diapers may be dry, but as soon as he has them on, they start to smell. I heard that there is a garment that helps stop the wet diapers from wetting through his gown and our clothing. As soon as I can get to town, I'm ordering some of those."

Adam also used an old slicker and made pads to put in Gabriel's crib under the sheet, and made several smaller ones that would lay across someone's lap if they were holding him. He hadn't remembered just how wet a baby could get and how that moisture seemed to wet the people around the baby almost as much. Hoss asked for some of the pads for the same purpose. Ben had to chuckle at how much his sons were getting involved with their sons. It wasn't the usual way, but Ben had done it out of necessity. However his sons were doing it by choice. He had to wonder if it was because of how they had been raised and decided that regardless of why, he liked their approach much better than the aloof approach many fathers had to their sons until they were old enough to work.

Both Adam and Hoss held their sons and rocked them as well. Ben got tears in his eyes every time he saw Adam or Hoss looking at their sons with such love in their gaze. He saw how each of them was considerate of their wives and asked their opinions on caring for their sons. He had to contrast it with how Sheena had been and found he liked Bess and Zona far more. He began to feel a bit guilty about those thoughts though and was determined not to let Joe or anyone else know how he felt. He must not have been very good at hiding it though. Joe came up to him as they watched Adam holding Gabriel and Zona leaning on Adam's arm and smiling at their son.

"She's such a good wife and mother. I can see now what I was missing in my marriage."

"Joe, Sheena was very young. If she hadn't been taken away so tragically, she might have learned to be more loving."

"Pa, she was about the same age as Bess and older than Zona. No, I think perhaps I made a bad choice, but it's in the past now. I'm just very happy for my brothers and how well they are loved. I hope I can find someone like that someday."

"Son, you will. When you can put your grief behind you, I'm sure that you'll find that there is a good woman out there for you."

"Say a little prayer for me now and then, would you Pa? I certainly would like to find that's true."

"Joe, I pray for you and your brothers every single day, and now I pray for my grandsons and for my daughters-in-law too. I never thought I could be this blessed, and I thank God every day for those blessings. It was very nice of you to suggest that Adam and Zona move into the bedroom down here. It certainly is more convenient for everyone."

"It was good for me too, Pa." Seeing Ben's quizzical look, Joe had only one comment. "Someday, Pa, I'll explain that. Adam and I already talked about it. He's not too bad an older brother when he isn't trying to be so bossy."

Ben smiled and squeezed Joe's shoulder getting a smile from his youngest son. Ben had guessed from those cryptic comments that Joe wasn't missing Sheena that much but that he did miss his daughter immensely. Ben only hoped there was a way for Joe to learn to live with that loss, but Ben had no experience in that so had no advice to offer. He could only offer support and prayers, so he did.

Chapter 7

A few weeks later, it was Christmas Eve, and the three brothers were up early ready to go get greens and a tree. Hoss said that at least for this year and maybe forever, he and his family would celebrate with everyone else in the main house. He brought Bess and Isaiah over as soon as it was light. Joe and Ben helped him carry all the clothing and paraphernalia that was needed when one had a baby less than a month old. Adam had come down late for breakfast and looked worried.

"What's wrong with you older brother? You look like you ain't getting what you want for Christmas this year."  
"It's not that, Hoss. Zona is upset that I'm going out in the snow again. She'll be down here in a few minutes. Please do not say anything to upset her."

"Adam, it's not like we're gonna get caught in no avalanche or nothing. We're just going to cut a tree and some greens."

"Please do not mention that word again, nor blizzards, drifts, crevasses, snow blindness, or anything else bad about snow. Is that clear?"

"What's she worried about, anyhow?"

"Apparently when your husband has been buried under the snow, you think it could happen again. Now one of Zona's great fears is being left alone, so nobody say anything to get her upset, or I may never be able to leave the house again."

"Having a baby shur makes a women worry about things. Bess is watching what I eat, and she follows me around at night to make sure I turn down every lamp and lock every door and set of shutters. Then she puts up the fire screen in front of the fireplace cause she says I don't do it right."

Chuckling as he walked to the table for breakfast, Joe had to tease a little. "Pa, seems like my older brothers have gotten themselves replaced as the head of the family. Sounds like the wives are running things, doesn't it?"

"Yes, it does seem that the pants are being worn by someone other than my two tall, strong sons. I never would have expected that."

"Very funny. I seem to remember you running around trying to please Marie. A few strong comments from her, and you were doing your best to get her to calm down. It didn't always work either, if I remember correctly." Adam got to smirk at that memory.

"Yes, unfortunately you do remember correctly. A beautiful fiery woman is almost impossibly wonderful at times, and at other times, a very complicated, ah, very difficult, ah, challenging. Yes, that's it, a challenge."

"Well, my challenge is about to come down here and interrogate all of you about the dangers of winter snow in the Sierras. Please, be kind to me and reassure her that nothing bad can happen today?"

"Adam, do you think we should do that? I mean it isn't exactly honest. Something bad could happen."

"Pa, please?"

Ben and his two younger sons had enjoyed tormenting Adam just a bit, but enough was enough. As Bess and Zona came down the stairs carrying their sons, their husbands met them and took the sons into their arms escorting the wives to the table. As things turned out, Bess had been reassuring Zona that nothing terrible would happen because the brothers were only going a couple of miles from the house and should be home before lunch. Zona looked for confirmation to Ben, and he nodded eliciting a tiny nervous smile from her. She reached over and squeezed Adam's hand.

"Please be careful."

"I won't even get out of the sleigh. It seems my brothers think that would be the best job for me so I'll drive the sleigh so they can load it up with greens and tie a tree on the back. We should be home in time by sometime in the afternoon." Adam held her hand and looked into her eyes trying to soothe her worries away. Gabriel wanted his attention apparently though and started whimpering. Adam began to talk to him and all seemed calm until Hoss spoke up.

"Adam, we oughta be back well before lunch." Seeing Adam's warning glance, Hoss tried to backtrack but without success. "Oh, unless some trouble happens, and we hafta take care of that."

Zona looked up sharply. "What kind of trouble?"

"Oh, you know, anything can happen in the snow. Oh, I mean, like the runners on the sleigh could get iced up."

"Oh, so you only have to clean off the ice?"

Hoss thought he had dodged trouble there so he tried to reassure Zona. "Yes, otherwise the sleigh could tip over and dump everyone in the snow."

"Dump everyone in the snow?" Zona's fears were reignited.

"Thank you, Hoss. I think you've helped explain enough." Adam gave a scowl to Hoss before turning to his wife with a tender expression meant to reassure her again. "Zona, sweetheart, Hoss is only trying to say we'll be very careful and make sure that the sleigh is safe to use at all times. Isn't that what you meant to say, Hoss?"

"Oh, yeah, Adam. Sorry, Sis, I didn't mean to worry you none. We'll be careful, and we'll get back here ready to decorate so we can celebrate Christmas."

"I do have to admit that the snow makes Christmas seem extra special. I've never seen a white Christmas before. It's just that the snow is something that scares me still. I never had any experience with it before, and it all seems so threatening in its beauty. It is very disconcerting."

"Dis what?"

"Confusing and discomforting. I always had thought of snow as pure and symbolic of innocence, and I had no idea of the potential perils of something so enchanting when included in poems and stories and works of art."

"It is purty, Sis, and when we get back, maybe we can build a snowman or have a snowball fight."

"What is a snowball fight?"

"Well you roll snow up into balls and throw 'em at someone, and they try to hit you with ones they make."

"Why?"

"Well, cause it's fun." Zona's look of confusion was clear. Hoss didn't know how to explain. "I guess you have to try it sometime. Maybe when we get home, we could do that?" Zona still looked very unconvinced that she would enjoy such an activity, but Adam squeezed her hand.

"Sweetheart, he's right, and it is fun, but it's one of those things that can only be understood by doing. Now, we have a lot to do so we need to get going. I love you, and I'll be back as quickly as I am able." Adam leaned toward Zona and kissed her gently as Ben and Joe politely looked away. Hoss was busy kissing Bess goodbye so he didn't notice. Soon the two ladies with babies on their laps were sitting with Ben and talking about how to decorate the house for the holiday.

As the brothers arrived at a grove of trees, Hoss dismounted and took a big breath of fresh air. "Shur does smell sweet out here. I'm getting real tired of those smells that Isaiah can make."

Adam agreed and added more. "And the stuff that Gabriel can spew out. Even with those pads, it seems he manages to wet an awful lot of stuff. I think he's doubled the amount of laundry that needs to be done. And I have to check my shirt especially the shoulder before I go anywhere. He spits up that white crud almost every time he nurses."

"You ain't seen nothing yet. Isaiah got some kind of a touchy stomach and spit up half of what he was getting. I thought that was bad until it started coming out the other end. You know how you learn to put a cloth over that thing when ya change 'em cause it seems some fresh air and it's shooting all over the place. Well I did that, but when I raised his legs to wipe him clean, shit shot out of his bottom. He got me, the table, and it seemed like everything within about three feet. How can someone so small make such a big mess?"

"I know. Gabriel is so damn cute, but when he does stuff like that, I just want to hand him off to Zona but she's often too tired so I have to do it."

"Oh, yeah, being tired. Bess has been so darned tired lately that we ain't had any time to ourselves if you know what I mean."

Adam nodded. "I wonder how long that's going to be the situation. I try to do something and it's always 'not now, you'll wake the baby' or something like that."

"You two aren't fooling anybody. You love having those boys, so let's get to cutting so you can get home to your families." Joe made some good points, so Hoss grabbed a saw from the sleigh and Joe grabbed an axe. Adam pulled the sleigh close to the trees they selected for their work. Hoss sawed off branches as Joe went to work on downing the tree they wanted to use in the house.

About three hours later, the brothers arrived home. With both babies nursed and sleeping in their cradles in the downstairs bedroom, Zona and Bess grabbed their coats and headed outside to see the tree and greens the brothers had brought home. It was exciting to see the sleigh loaded with green boughs and the large tree tied behind it. Adam grabbed a bundle of greens and walked to the porch without hugging and kissing his wife as Hoss was doing with Bess. Zona walked behind him.

"Is something wrong? Are you avoiding me?"

"No, sweetheart, nothing is wrong. I only wanted to get busy with these decorations."

"Adam Cartwright, you're lying to me! What's wrong?"

Turning around rather sheepishly, Adam showed Zona what was wrong.

"Oh, no, what happened to you? I knew it wasn't safe out there in the snow!"

Pulling Zona into a hug, Adam did his best to explain. "It wasn't the snow exactly. It's just that my brothers decided to start the snowball fighting early, and I wasn't ready for it because they didn't tell me. I got hit and fell foreward, but I had the reins in my hand and snapped them accidentally as I fell which made the horses leap forward throwing me back into the seat. So you see, it wasn't the snow. It was my brothers who did this."

Zona leaned back and gently touched the abrasion on Adam's cheek and the swollen tissue around his eye. "Is this it, or do you have other injuries?"

"I think my back may be a bit sore for a while, but this is the worst of it. I hit the front of the sleigh with my face and then got thrown on my backside on the sleigh bench rather forcefully."

By that time, Bess and the others had heard what had happened. Ben had a scowl for his two younger sons, but before he could say anything, Bess had turned on Hoss.

"This is how you treat a man who was finally almost fully recovered from being buried in an avalanche? You knew that Zona was worried that something would happen, and you promised to be careful. How is mounting a sneak snowball attack on Adam as he tends to the horses being careful?"

Bess stood with her hands on her hips staring at Hoss who had the good sense not to argue with her assessment. Joe was going to say something in their defense but his father reached a hand to his shoulder and squeezed hard getting him to look at him. Ben shook his head. Zona guided Adam into the house to have Hop Sing help her clean up the abrasion. Hoss rather sheepishly gathered some snow into a ball and wrapped it in his clean handkerchief and took that in with Bess marching at his side. He knew he had probably not heard the last of her comments on his behavior.

Standing beside Ben, Joe had to comment then. "Those are two very lucky men. Their wives love them so much."

"I wasn't sure you would understand that Bess' comments were because she cares so much. She never wants anything to come between Hoss and his brothers."

"I know. Pa, nothing ever will. Now, I suppose we better get busy decorating. In a few hours, our guests will be arriving."

Ben nodded but said nothing about the package that had arrived that morning while his sons were gone. He wasn't sure if he should open it, or if he should let Joe do it. It was a package addressed to Sheena and had come from New York. Ben had no idea what might be in that box.

Chapter 8

The next morning as Hoss exited his bedroom and went downstairs to get some breakfast, he met Adam who was coming out of his bedroom. Adam smiled when he saw his brother. Hoss grimaced a little at seeing the purple bruising around Adam's eye and the swollen cheek.  
"I'm real sorry about that. I hope it doesn't hurt too much."

"It's not a problem. In fact, I ought to thank you."

"You ought to thank me?"

"Yes, after weeks of being too tired except to care for Gabriel, Zona was very attentive last night. She even rubbed my sore back, and well one thing led to another, and I feel great this morning." Hoss had a bit of a pleased smile, but it was more than Adam expected. "What happened that I don't know about?"

"Well, apparently being all sorry and feeling low makes your wife want to cheer you up some. So I guess it worked out real well for both of us."

Adam slapped Hoss on the shoulder, and they headed to the table to get some coffee. Ben reminded them that there were chores to do, but then mentioned that Joe had gone out a half hour earlier saying he wanted to get Christmas started and he knew chores had to be done first.

"Pa, you know this happens every year. He gets up early to do chores, and by the time we grab a cup of coffee and head out to help him, he's on his way in after finishing them up. It's a Christmas tradition."

"Well, I suppose it is a Christmas tradition. I don't suppose that some year, the two of you could get up earlier and do the chores instead of Joe?" Seeing their smiles, he had his answer. "No, I suppose not. Where are my lovely daughters and handsome grandsons this morning?"

"Ah, Zona was tired so after nursing Gabriel, I suggested she might want to get some sleep. It was a late night last night with our guests too." Hoss said about the same about Bess and Isaiah.

"Yes, it was a wonderful night with our guests. I'm looking forward to a quiet day with the family today."

"Pa, you think there's anything that Adam or me could do to cheer Joe up some? He's been kinda down a lot lately."

"No, I think he has to accept what's happened at his own pace. He's making progress. He's been examining his feelings and thinking things through. Now that reminds me that there's something we should discuss before he gets in the house. Yesterday morning, a package was delivered for Sheena. Dave sent a boy out with it because he didn't know what to do with it. It's from New York, and frankly I have no idea what is inside."

"Do you think we ought to open it?"

"Hoss, I don't know. Let's go to my desk and take a look at it." At his desk, Ben picked up the package he had placed under the desk and set it on the ink blotter. Hoss and Adam leaned over to look at it, and Adam had some information.

"That return address is a publishing company. I'm not sure what's in it, but I doubt that it would be something that would upset Joe. You should probably tell Joe that it was delivered."

"Tell Joe that what was delivered?" While the three had been busy looking at the package, Joe had come back into the house in time to hear Adam's statement. Joe walked over to the desk to see what his brothers and father were examining. He was silent as he stared at the addressee. Then he reached out and pulled the box closer to him before beginning to open it. Ben wanted to say he should wait but knew there wasn't a good reason for that. As Joe pulled the package open and reached inside, his father and brothers were holding their breath. The first thing that Joe pulled out was a small book. He turned it over to see the title. He pulled another and another until he had twenty-eight dime novels on the desk. He shook his head. Sheena had ordered the first complete set of dime novels. He had read two of them, but the others would be for some of the long winter nights. She had loved him. He was sure of it now. She had ordered dime novels even though she had scorned them as poor writing. He lifted the box prepared to break it up for the fireplace when he realized it was too heavy. He reached inside and pulled out an illustrated book of rhymes for children. That made him cry, and Adam put an arm around his shoulders just before Hoss did the same from the other side. The three brothers stood that way for several minutes as grief overwhelmed Joe. It was the catharsis he needed, but it was painful too for all of them realizing that Sheena had been learning what love meant and that she had loved Joe.

"I thought that I would have nothing in my stocking this year. I was looking at what I lost and not what I had. Now I know it should be the memories that I treasure. I'll read these books this winter, and I'll say a prayer every time I do, and a thank you that I had the time I had with my wife and child. This children's book I'm going to keep until I have a child to give it to. I'm looking forward now, and not back. I was loved and I loved, and now I know I'll have that again."

Any more serious discussion was prevented by the wail of two infants. Hoss and Adam hurried to find how they could help and soon returned with their sons each quietly contented resting in the crook of an elbow. Ben wanted to hold one and Joe asked to do the same. Soon the whole family was in front of the fireplace opening gifts and babbling with the babies.

Almost one year later, Bess and Zona were at the dining room table decorating cookies for Christmas. Because little boys and freshly iced cookies are not a good combination, Hoss and Adam were supposed to decorate the tree and watch over the two boys at the same time. However that was not a good combination either. Adam suddenly was chasing Gabriel who had run away with an ornament with Isaiah running right behind him. The boys seemed to do everything together usually with Gabriel in the lead. Joe came down the stairs with one more box of decorations from the attic and Gabriel led Isaiah to the relative safety of hiding behind Joe's legs after he set the box down. Adam pulled to a stop in front of Joe, knelt down, and put out his hand with that look that said Gabriel better hand over that ornament without any fuss. He did and clung to Joe's leg hoping that his father's look didn't mean there would be any more consequences. Adam shook his head at the antics of the two boys.

"Joe, Hoss and I have to finish decorating this tree. We need to use the ladder next, and I know how you hate that part of it. So would you mind watching the boys for the next hour or so?"

"Me? Watch over these two scary cowboys? Why every time I do that, they wrestle me to the floor and tickle me until I can hardly breathe." That was all the motivation the boys needed to play with their Uncle Joe. Almost in synchronization they reached up for his belt and got good handholds pulling Joe to the floor. Of course, he fell in extremely dramatic fashion with all sorts of strange sounds and facial expressions. When he finally stopped writhing in supposed pain, each laughing boy knelt at his side and began tickling him causing Joe to begin his famous giggle. Adam and Hoss had to smile as they decorated the tree.

"Adam, sometimes it seems like we got three toddlers here instead of two."

"I know what you mean. One is just a bit larger than the other two."

Soon, Joe had the boys working on their next favorite project, which was using the Indian blanket that hung over the stair railing to make a tent using the game table that sat next to the stairs. Once they thought they had that done to perfection, all three slithered under the table tent and began to whoop and holler looking out from under the blanket to see if they were being observed. Seeing parents smiling and glancing over at them, the commotion continued because those three loved an audience.

Next on the agenda was a puppet show. Joe got the sock puppets that Bess and Zona had made for him, and knelt behind the table tent and had the two puppets act out a conversation between Adam and Hoss. Gabriel and Isaiah stood on the other side of the table leaning against the edge of it fascinated by Joe's puppet work as well as the dialogue as he did his best to mimic his brothers' voices.

"Dagnabit, Adam, that was the last piece of bacon!"

"Hoss, you had eleven pieces already."

"You know I have to have an even dozen or my day is ruined. Now I'm one short!"

"Well, just have Hop Sing smoke another hundred pounds for your breakfast."

"Oh that ain't a gonna be fast enough. Oh, I feel a tummy ache coming on."

The two toddlers were laughing and clapping at the show, as the two fathers finished decorating the tree and grimacing at their younger brother's version of breakfast. A blast of cold air ushered in their father who apparently had brought a guest. Joe jumped up and headed to the door to greet her. After hurriedly pulling the sock puppets from his hands, he hugged her.

"Rosalind, I thought I was supposed to come and get you this evening?"

"Oh, your father stopped by our house, and said with the storm blowing in, perhaps I might like to ride out here with him. Mama and Papa could hardly refuse with Mr. Benjamin Cartwright standing in the parlor. I swear, I think Mama has a bit of an infatuation with your handsome father. She can never say no when he's around." Ben couldn't help smiling just a bit at that.

"You brought a bag?" Joe noticed the large satchel that Rosalind had brought into the house just as Ben had been carrying a stack of packages.

"Yes, your father said that if the storm was as bad as it looked like it might be that I could be snowed in here with all of you. Mama said I should pack clothing for a week. I hope you don't mind?"

"Mind? No, I don't mind at all. It's a great Christmas present to be able to have you here. Aren't your parents going to miss you though?"

"With my brothers and sisters all coming home, I doubt it. Your father invited them to come out here for a visit if the weather permits. Mama is really looking forward to that, but I hope it isn't for at least a few days because I know I'll have to go back home with them if that happens."

"Well, I would show you to a guest room, but I seem to have grown two little boys on my legs." Joe put a hand on top of each boy's head as they stood with their arms wrapped around his legs. "I don't know what I would do without these two. They have really helped me stand up this year. However, walking is a bit more difficult."

Rosalind looked down to see two sets of eyes staring wide-eyed at her. She dropped down to her knees and pulled two small paper bags from her pockets. "I brought red and green soft gum drops. Now if you would each take these bags to your papas, they can decide when you can eat one."

Eagerly, the two boys took the proffered bags and turned to rush to their fathers. Joe reached down and snagged each one by an arm. "Now what is that you're supposed to say when you get something?" Neither boy knew so Gabriel threw a kiss at Rosalind and Isaiah followed his lead. "Good enough. Now you can go." Watching the two boys scamper away, Joe grinned. "I've been trying to teach them to say thank you, but all they say is mama, papa, grumpa, and unca."

"They are darling. It would be so sweet to see more children like those two. They're so cute and so much fun."

And Joe started to get some ideas about how that could be accomplished. He had only been seeing Rosalind for just a bit longer than two months but already she seemed like she was the one he had been hoping to find. He watched as she greeted Zona and Bess, and then Adam and Hoss. She was genuinely liked by all four of them which was very reassuring to Joe especially that Adam and Zona liked her because those two tended to take a long look at someone before accepting that person as a friend. If they accepted her as genuinely as sweet as she seemed, he could hardly doubt it.

Concerned about Rosalind's age though, Joe waited for a chance to talk to Adam privately. Because Zona was quite a bit younger than Adam, Joe thought he might have some advice on the issue. When Adam volunteered to do Hoss' chores that evening to let the big man read a story to the boys, it was the perfect time for Joe. He followed Adam out to the stable saying nothing, which was a big clue for Adam.

"All right, I'm ready for you to spit it out. I don't want to stay out here too long so it would be nice if you could just get right to it."

"How do you do that? You always know when I've got something important to say to you." Joe didn't actually expect an answer to that so he plunged in to what he wanted to ask. "I love Rosalind very much. I know it hasn't been long, but I thought you especially would understand that." Adam nodded. He and Joe were somewhat similar in that regard falling in love quickly although Adam tended to fall in love more deeply each time he had done it, and Joe sometimes was more infatuated than in love. Adam hoped that Joe was sure that it was love this time, and not a rebound from his loss of Sheena. He didn't say any of that because he was sure Joe had already thought about that. "You're not saying anything."

"I guess it's because anything I say, you've already thought. I only hope you're as sure as you can be."

"I am sure, but she's so much younger than I am. Ten years is a lot."

"Zona and I are further apart than that. It doesn't matter as long as both of you are old enough to know your mind. If you love her, then age is not a concern. Rosalind could be ten years older or the same age. Would you think any differently about her if either of those situations were true?"

"No, she would be the same person regardless so I would see her the same. Oh, I get it now. I should be looking at her as a person and not an age. My love isn't because of her age. It's because of the person she is." Adam nodded. "What do you think about me asking Rosalind to marry me?"

"I like the idea, but the only one who matters there is Rosalind. What do you think she'll say when you ask her?"

"She'll say yes. I'm sure of it. But then I'd have to get her parents to agree."

"From what I can tell, they're probably hoping you'll ask her."

"What?"

"Joe, they sent her out here to stay for as long as a week on Pa's say-so that we would watch out for her. If they trust us to do that, they trust us to care for her as family."

Joe sat down heavily on a bale of hay. "So you think they expect me to ask her to marry? What about you? Did you think I would ask her to marry me now, at Christmas?"

"Heck, no, I thought you would have asked her a month ago. I lost that bet."

"Who's betting?"

"Better question: who isn't? I think Pa and Zona are still in the running for the pot. One of them guessed Christmas and the other one guessed New Year's Eve. I can't remember which is which. I do know Candy said Valentine's Day so I'm thinking he's going to lose too. I'm hoping Zona wins because she wants to use the money to buy some new china. I'm really sick of drinking out of those tiny cups Marie bought."

Joe had to laugh, and then the two brothers finished chores and headed inside for more Christmas merriment. Adam noticed Joe slipping away and returning with one of his socks that he hung with the others by the chimney. Joe grinned at Adam letting him know by that what he planned to do. By ten, everyone had gone to bed except Joe, Rosalind, and Ben. With a look at Joe meant to remind him to be a gentleman, Ben bid the two goodnight. When Joe heard his father's door close, he pulled Rosalind into an embrace and the two kissed.

"Rosalind, I hung a stocking by the chimney for you. It's the red one with the bow on it."

"Oh, Joe, I have a stocking at home. Here, there'll be nothing in my stocking."

"Oh, sweetheart, there is. Would you like to look?" Joe loved the look of joy that she had.

With a smile, Rosalind jumped up to get the stocking, which did seem empty until she slid her hand inside at Joe's urging and found a ring. It was a simple ring with a small emerald set with two small diamonds. "Joe, it's beautiful."

"The diamonds are for my love for you that will never end, and the green is for the Ponderosa which I hope will be our home forever."

Looking at Joe in surprise and then joy, Rosalind couldn't stop smiling. "You mean you want to marry me?"

"Yes, I want you to marry me, and live with me on the Ponderosa as my wife. Will you marry me?"

"Oh, yes, yes, I will. Oh, this is so exciting."

Joe heard a couple of big exclamations of yes from Adam's bedroom. He assumed it was because Zona had won the bet, and that Adam was going to get new china cups as a result. At least he hoped that was what it was. Rosalind looked at him quizzically as he glanced at their bedroom door and grinned so he told her the whole story.

"I like them. Zona and Bess too have been so nice to me. I feel like family already."

"I'll have to ask your parents."

"Oh, Joe, Mama said she hoped that you would ask me. She said she could tell by looking at you that you loved me, and she could tell I loved you. Now we can have every Christmas together."

Joe loudly called out to Adam and Zona. "C'mon out. I know you're dying to congratulate us."

In a minute, Adam and Zona were there in their robes. A few minutes later, Hoss and Bess walked down the stairs behind a beaming Ben. His fondest wish had come true for this Christmas even if he had lost the bet. There were congratulations all around and then Hop Sing came out with champagne and a tray having been forewarned by Adam that it would likely be needed. No one got much sleep that night as Gabriel and Isaiah liked to get up at dawn, but the smiles didn't stop for a very long time. Candy was gratified that at least the two got married on Valentine's Day with a small reception at the house, but Joe was planning a big shindig for the summer so all their friends and neighbors could celebrate with him and Rosalind. The Cartwright Christmas stockings were full of good things every year after that as the family grew in size and in love.


End file.
